Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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