its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
