they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
