I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
