Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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