4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
19 Totally Clueless People That’ll Make You Say ‘Bless Your Heart’
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
30 Times Ryan Reynolds’ Replies Were The Funniest Thing On Twitter
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.