ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
