M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
