i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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