Will you blow on my dice?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I faked an abortion last night.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
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So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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