I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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