your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
