If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
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Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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