I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
