dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Randomize
