There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
