bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
