waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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