It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
