im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
