shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
