Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
