My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
