Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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