i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
