Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
