I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
