I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think my vagina is haunted
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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