I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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