She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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