Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
...so i touched it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
