We're facebook friends in real life
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
