The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
