i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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