If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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