I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
