I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
