lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Everyone says I win the strip club
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
