I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
