That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize