Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
