Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
