my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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