Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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