i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wish you could order shots online.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
