I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
