my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Randomize