Pants 0. Shit 1.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
