I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
