what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
