32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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