brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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