We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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