Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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