i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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