when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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