I hate your face
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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