did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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