I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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