is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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