Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.

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  (312): i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude. http://tfl.nu/vz4x
  Replies (10) Good night (1098) Bad night (698)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a girl!!

  (614): View more from Ohio

  That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years

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  (412): it's a girl!! (614): That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years http://tfl.nu/ln73
  Replies (30) Good night (6670) Bad night (1473)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.

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  (216): There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself. http://tfl.nu/jj9y
  Replies (23) Good night (1210) Bad night (3984)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.

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  (972): Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight. http://tfl.nu/7ped
  Replies (11) Good night (3659) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't

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  (925): I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't http://tfl.nu/i8hu
  Replies (29) Good night (6138) Bad night (1287)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.

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  (847): I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand. http://tfl.nu/1517
  Replies (6) Good night (2860) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't

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  (240): I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't http://tfl.nu/uua0
  Replies (7) Good night (2442) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by

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  (718): Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by http://tfl.nu/75m6
  Replies (8) Good night (2133) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.

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  (206): She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America. http://tfl.nu/8yw3
  Replies (8) Good night (2179) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me

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  (770): Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me http://tfl.nu/jae3
  Replies (5) Good night (649) Bad night (1455)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.

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  (248): Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke. http://tfl.nu/wb76
  Replies (6) Good night (497) Bad night (1309)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place

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  (314): Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place http://tfl.nu/v09l
  Replies (1) Good night (970) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.

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  (704): Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox. http://tfl.nu/wyx0
  Replies (18) Good night (1407) Bad night (3723)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.

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  (314): So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better. http://tfl.nu/6bjm
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...

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  (541): After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video... http://tfl.nu/lvkq
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (680)

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