Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.

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(202): it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously. http://tfl.nu/bvn1

Replies (7) Good night (764) Bad night (1827)
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(586): View more from Michigan

theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.

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(586): theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/psvc

Replies (12) Good night (1047) Bad night (7401)
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(912): View more from Georgia

I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.

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(912): I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night. http://tfl.nu/zcqt

Replies (22) Good night (3221) Bad night (918)
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(917): View more from New York City

i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!

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(917): i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see! http://tfl.nu/gbe5

Replies (7) Good night (4706) Bad night (651)
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(518): View more from New York

I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.

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(518): I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok. http://tfl.nu/zi5p

Replies (7) Good night (778) Bad night (3192)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career

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(416): Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career http://tfl.nu/ywum

Replies (5) Good night (2798) Bad night (1150)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.

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(484): She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that. http://tfl.nu/ceu5

Replies (24) Good night (4529) Bad night (1417)
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(313): View more from Michigan

She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.

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(313): She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list. http://tfl.nu/ifsp

Replies (20) Good night (8058) Bad night (1128)
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(713): View more from Texas

Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on

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(713): Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on http://tfl.nu/6fw7

Replies (5) Good night (2687) Bad night (1547)
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(949): View more from California

You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!

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(949): You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon! http://tfl.nu/33kf

Replies (9) Good night (3922) Bad night (746)
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(626): View more from California

I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

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(626): I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses. http://tfl.nu/ogb0

Replies (3) Good night (1210) Bad night (570)
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(727): View more from Florida

all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u

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(727): all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u http://tfl.nu/6pt8

Replies (3) Good night (573) Bad night (1340)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.

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(218): You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk. http://tfl.nu/cpk7

Replies (9) Good night (830) Bad night (482)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.

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(717): You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you. http://tfl.nu/xdv6

Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (306)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser

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(+61): I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser http://tfl.nu/inov

Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (306)

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