Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(226): View more from Ontario

forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

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(214): View more from Texas

I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby

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(207): View more from Maine

well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.

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(817): View more from Texas

Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles

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