Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.

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(410): View more from Maryland

i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'

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(732): View more from New Jersey

My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day

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(980): View more from North Carolina

after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(808): View more from Hawaii

you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe

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(512): View more from Texas

$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.

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(269): View more from Michigan

You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.

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(801): View more from Utah

It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants

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