she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
