Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf