you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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