Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
