They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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