By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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