Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
