The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
