rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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