im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
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