i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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