Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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