Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
