Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
