after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
